What is It Like to Receive Trauma Therapy With Dr. Cain?

In this article, I explain how I do trauma therapy so you know what to expect.

First, I give you an overview of the process. You will have a chance to ask questions and have them answered. Next I teach you strategies for soothing and regulation so you are prepared for when upsetting memories and emotions affect you more acutely. You practice them and choose the ones you like best. You begin to experience some control over what used to feel out of your control.

Then I begin guiding you through the various events and pieces of what happened, and leading you through processing. There are different ways I do this with people depending on what they are comfortable with and what I believe will help most at different points. Some people prefer I ask them questions; others want to tell the story themselves and receive support. I might ask you to draw something, to help you with the process. We take it a little at a time. I weave in EMDR (using bilateral tapping rather than eye movements), somatic strategies, and visualization exercises, depending on what you are comfortable with and what I think will help you most. These techniques help lessen the pain.

I explain each strategy or technique ahead of time and ask you if it is something you want to do. If you don’t want to tell me details about what happened, you can call it a code word or phrase just so we can refer to it as I monitor processing and you give me feedback about what you are experiencing. The process is a partnership between the two of us.

Sometimes we pull back from the processing and do something to promote comfort and soothing. I might incorporate visualization or symbolism. We go at your pace.

We address any beliefs about what happened that are causing you pain. For example, it is common for people to blame themselves for something they were not at fault for or that they had no way of knowing. Understanding the truth lifts the burden and sets you free from something that had worsened the pain.

Sometimes people need to be able to face something in real life that is very difficult because of what happened. I help you learn to be able to do it again, very very gradually and in a way where each tiny step in the process is safe. This is called graded exposure. It gives people confidence in real life situations.

Some people don’t want to do a particular technique or strategy, and that is okay. Your choices are always respected. Sometimes people want to talk through meanings that are important for them. Whatever part of the process you are in, and whatever method we are using to work through it, you experience someone being fully and respectfully present to witness your experience. Having someone respectfully witness your pain is reparative. It heals people.

There are usually other concerns to be addressed also, such as sleep issues and relationship changes, and navigating the complexities of life. We address the concerns that are important to you as they come up. All of the procedures are flexible and respectful of your needs.

Over time, we put the events in sequential order and help you see the ways you exhibited the courage and strength to get through it. The goal is go from an overwhelmed, painful tangle of emotions and memories to integration, with the pieces put in order, with the bulk of the pain gone, and you seeing yourself as the hero of your story with self-respect for how you made it through.

You can get your life back.